


How to make the Forties less cold

by chrysanthemum1632



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Multi, People are not nice, Slow Burn, Time Travel, War has consequences
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 03:16:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6139483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrysanthemum1632/pseuds/chrysanthemum1632
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony takes the past into his own hands.</p><p>Bucky never becomes the Winter Soldier.</p><p>Steve doesn't get to clock out before the war is over.</p><p>And J.A.R.V.I.S. just tries to keep them all alive and well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meetings - Bucky

Bucky sees the Iron Man for the first time when he shows up to raid a Hydra base at the same time the Howling Commandos are there to destroy it. This is certainly not the first time he's heard of the guy though; the higher ups have been flipping their shit about him ever since he showed up. They take umbrage with the fact that he collects the research and notes of every base he hits. Personally Bucky is a little disturbed to have all that material in the hands of a complete unknown, but he's also practical enough to be thankful for every base he hits that the Commandos don't have to. Hydra's pretty nasty, he's not sure this guy could actually be worse, and it seems a bit crazy to him to spend any time hunting the guy when they could be hunting Hydra instead. The higher ups do not agree. They have standing orders to engage him if they ever cross paths and Bucky suspects that the only reason they haven't been sent after the guy directly is because no one has the foggiest idea where his base is.

Still, seeing him for the first time Bucky kind of gets it. He doesn't agree, but he gets it. Because everything about him is gorgeous. The suit he's wearing and his robot minion things, they all gleam silver, all graceful lines and gleaming metal. Bucky has a feeling he knows what Steve's sketch books are going to be full of for a long while. He figures the orders to capture come more from a desire for the tech than because of the guy's threat level. And Bucky can get that, looking at the tech makes him want it too. Probably not in the same way though, Bucky's always had a bit of a thing for high tech stuff. He'd dragged Steve to the expo to check out all of Stark's new stuff, and those had been amazing at the time, but they do not hold a candle to the Iron Man. Bucky just kind of wants hours of being able to run his hands over the metal, seeing how it's put together, maybe even if he was really lucky getting to watch the guy who made it, because it must be damn fine to watch that guy at work. It's never going to happen though. Even if some of the tech gets brought in there's no way anyone is letting Bucky get his grimy hands on it. The brass will keep these things all to themselves and Bucky is willing to bet Stark will try to take all of it and hide it away in a lab somewhere to reverse engineer it. Still doesn't change their orders.

So they split their attention but truth be told they still keep most of it on Hydra, because well, Hydra, there's not much more to say. The Iron Man's robots drag stuff out of the base and kill Hydra agents but leave the Howling Commandos alone, which Bucky thinks is mighty generous of them given the Commandos are shooting at them some. Still, the Iron Man gets away clean.

And Bucky was so right about Steve's sketch books.

* * *

 

The second time Bucky sees the Iron Man Bucky is one of the lab experiments his robots are pulling out. He's missing his left arm, he has an admittedly vague idea what they wanted to do with him, and he is so, so grateful to get out. Bucky passes out during the flight.

He wakes up in a place that looks kind of like a med bay in the same way that Iron Man tech looks kind of like Stark tech; they're both trying to be the same thing, but one of them is obviously better at it. The room is crisp, and clean, and empty. It is also locked. Bucky is kind of disturbed by this fact, but he is also able to walk and not in hideous amounts of pain which makes this a giant step up from the last place he was being held. He's actually kind of numb, he's missing his left arm and his emotions are just kind of blank at the moment. He isn't looking forward to that wearing off.

He does not get to take apart an Iron Man robot, but he does get to see them up close. They bring him meals (amazing wonderful meals, Bucky has been eating in military cafeterias and tight on money before that, he doesn't think he's ever eaten this well, or this much, his appetite seems to have doubled or tripled), they change his bandages, and just generally do everything necessary to have him heal up. Bucky hasn't seen another human being in his entire time here.

* * *

 

The third time Bucky sees the Iron Man he's asking Bucky's help to save Steve's life. The first strong emotion to break through Bucky's apathy shell is terror that Steve is going to die. One of the robots had shoved a pane of glass at him only for it to suddenly show an image of the Iron Man. Bucky doesn't get the whole situation but it has something to do with Steve refusing the Iron Man's help because he can't be trusted and Steve refuses to become a lab rat for him. Bucky can understand his concern but he mostly just wants to smack the punk for refusing to have his life saved. Bucky doesn't even have to do any convincing, one look at him and Steve is demanding the Iron Man bring him to wherever Bucky is. And just as suddenly the glass is blank again.

One of the robots is holding a needle up to his neck and Bucky wakes up during transport. It seems like the Iron Man might actually be going to return him to Steve which is kind of insane. If he does then Bucky certainly can't think of him as a villain anymore (if he ever really did). He's let out or rescued civilians before, and he's ignored the Howling Commandos, but this will be the first time he's let go of the result of an experiment – and oh how Bucky hates that that description applies to him.

And then the plane thing is dropping him off at the Howling Commandos' camp and another one is dropping Steve. He'll lecture the punk later (he's not sure if it'll be about refusing the help at first or about agreeing so quickly when he saw Bucky) but that can wait until they've finished hugging. And it can wait a while after that, this is the first time in years he's ever seen Steve cry. They can deal with the harsh stuff later, for now his best friend just needs some comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted March 1, 2016


	2. Humanity - Steve

Steve had never thought he'd see Bucky again. The most he'd ever hoped for was that his commanding officers would finally sign off on letting him try to find Bucky's body. It's been grating on him as all types of wrong that he couldn't give at least that to his best friend, but he's had to wait on that so that they can finish eradicating Hydra. He's pretty sure that's what Bucky would have wanted, but it still somehow manages to feel like a betrayal.

This has a lot to do with him deciding to put the plane down into the ice. With Bucky gone, well, Steve's started to wonder if maybe they just weren't meant to survive the war. They've been together so long, all the way from boyhood to the Howling Commandos, it makes sense that they'd go out together. Steve's not entirely sure how he's meant to keep living without his best friend, there would be too large of a piece missing from his life.

So when the Iron Man says that Bucky is alive, shows him some type of moving picture to prove it, Steve's world snaps back into focus. He wasn't even aware until that moment that it hadn't been. It seems like the world almost gets less gray, less cold; like it was off kilter somehow and it's just snapped back. After that refusing the Iron Man, or even doubting him, stops being really an option. Steve needs what he's said to be true, knowing now what it feels like when Bucky is dead he doesn't think he'd survive the transition again. He puts his life in the Iron Man's hands, and he isn't disappointed.

* * *

 

Of course the world can't be that simple. Bucky's down an arm and no matter how much they both wish he could just stay with Steve there's still a war going on. Hydra may be out of commission as far as they know, but Hitler is very much still a threat, and much as he wants to Steve can't justify giving up on the war to help his best friend settle back into his life. He wishes he could be that selfish. He wishes it even more than he ever did when he was a stick thin asthmatic runt getting himself beat up for sticking his nose where it wasn't welcome. It was so much easier to be selfless when he was the only one getting hurt by it. Now he has the constant gnawing worry that Bucky's not doing ok and it's all because Steve's not there to help him.

And much as Steve doesn't want to admit it he wishes Bucky was here for him too. Now that they're fighting Nazis more than they're fighting Hydra things are different and Steve is having some trouble dealing with it. In some ways maybe Hydra was worse: their technology was better and their soldiers were more fanatical, not to mention their leader was a science experiment gone horribly wrong. But somehow that made them less real, like cartoon versions of evil, easily hated and leaving no tarnish on the soul. Nazis aren't like that.

* * *

 

One of the things they didn't have to deal with with Hydra was captured soldiers. At the time it had been horribly annoying because that meant they had no prisoners to get information on other bases from. Now Steve is starting to count it as having been a small mercy. The thing is that after dragging a captured enemy soldier back to camp and having to keep a close watch over them the whole way to make sure they never escape it was very hard for Steve to look at them and see something other than just another human being stuck in this war. And some of them were so young. To look at these men, these boys, to see the fear in their faces and to realize that the thing they were so afraid of was him... Steve knows the serum is the only reason he's still battle ready after all the sleep he's been losing to nightmares.

But the captured soldiers are just the thing that drives it home. Nazis don't wear masks the way Hydra agents do. So after a battle, when Steve stops to see the destruction they've wrought, he sees the faces of the men he's killed. And after dealing with the captives he can't see them as anything but other human beings. Steve's killed people. He's killed other human beings with their own loves and fears, their own sweethearts and families, their own dreams. He loves the Howling Commandos, would lay down his life for any one of them, but sometimes just looking at them makes him want to throw up, sometimes he hates them with a burning passion that almost rivals how much he hates himself. He'll join them in the tavern and they'll celebrate another victory, he'll watch as they get drunk around him and contemplate that these men are celebrating how good of murderers they are. Sometimes he'll wish that there was no alcohol, that they'd stay sober with him, and other times he'll wish desperately that he could get drunk with them and find a way to celebrate instead of mourn for all the destruction they've caused.

Most of all he wishes for Bucky. He wishes for Bucky to be here to hold him and to tell him if he's still the same man Bucky knew growing up in Brooklyn; or if something rotten and ugly had crawled inside Steve Rogers body and made itself a home there. He thinks if anyone would know it would be Bucky. If anyone could take the man he is now, find and nurture the good parts still left in him, it would be Bucky. Bucky always had Steve Rogers' back, would protect him against anyone or anything. But he would also never hesitate to tell him when he was wrong, when he was being an idiot. Steve wishes he had someone here that he could trust to do that. None of the Commandos come even close, the only one who might is Peggy, and even then Steve has his doubts. Much as he is drawn to her, admires her like a moth does a flame, there is a ruthlessness in her that scares him now as much as it draws him in. She holds her own in a world of men and that will never cease to impress him, but he thinks that perhaps she could find a way to talk him into anything. And now that he has seen what levels humans can stoop to, now that he has seen how easily they can be turned on their own neighbors and friends, that scares him deep in his bones. There's only one person in the world now who he would trust unconditionally, only one person who he can trust to have that kind of power over him and use it well. Because Bucky has always had that power over him, and he has used it sparingly and wisely. And Steve wishes that he were here now to take that burden for a moment, to decide what was right, to be the strong one.

He hates himself for that too. For having dragged Bucky along with him onto the mission that took his arm, but to have the audacity to still want more from him. He knows that Bucky would disagree but he can't help feeling that he has taken enough from his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted March 9, 2016


	3. Return - Bucky

Being back in New York while Steve was still in the war actually managed to be worse than the time Bucky was in Europe before Steve found him. At least then he had known (false though it turned out to be) that Steve was relatively safe back in Brooklyn. Given that this was Steve that still meant his buddy challenging any bully he came across without any clear notion on how not to be beat to a pulp, but that still beat being a national icon on the front lines of a brutal war. He hates being separated from Steve, not least because the last time they were apart like this Steve managed to volunteer himself as the test subject for a serum that had given the last guy it was used on red skin and a sever lack of nose. Bucky can't trust that Steve will be ok without him there, and Bucky isn't doing so hot himself.

The SSR has given him a job stateside in recognition of his contribution in the war, but Bucky really just isn't cut out for working as the guy behind the desk directing the action. He needs to be right in the thick of it, can't stand just waiting for the news instead of being there to watch his team's backs. But nobody is gonna send a one armed guy into any kind of combat situation, so desk work it is. The only reason Bucky hasn't given up on it and gotten out is because he hasn't found anything better that'll take him. He's worked all kinds of odd jobs before just trying to keep Steve and himself fed and with a roof over their heads (and all the medicine to keep Steve well, not that he'll ever tell the punk how much that cost). He's got all kinds of experience but none of it is real helpful now. Most of those jobs he'd gotten because he was an able bodied man still in New York while so many had been shipped away. He can't do that kind of job anymore, and he'd been too poor to get any official training for skilled labor. He's trained more than enough to be a mechanic, but that was all piecemeal, picked up in hours helping out when he could spare the time at different shops around town. He'd payed attention because he'd loved the work but there was nothing official to show anyone he knew his stuff and even among the guys he's worked with already nobody has the extra money to hire him while he works out the logistics of doing the things he knows how to do with two arms with just the one he has now.

But work troubles are just what he would prefer to focus on in his new life. They're simple compared to the rest. What he doesn't want to admit to himself is just how lonely he is. He's always had a way with the dames, and he's always had Steve at his side. Now he's got neither. When he avoids the dance halls he misses his music with a steady ache he doesn't recognize till he hears a tune again, but when he does go... nothing quite like being completely alone with other people all around. He misses the Commandos, and most of all he misses Steve. But he refuses to feel sorry for himself for not being with them while they're the ones in the middle of a war. He's not the unlucky one here when any of them could die at any moment and the worst he's got to deal with is a lack of friends and having his colleagues look at him like he's incompetent just because he's down one limb. He survived a fall that should have killed him and being taken for a test subject two (or three really depending on the Iron Man's intentions) times and that makes him one of the luckiest men in the war. He's got no right complaining. If anything, he still owes them, he's supposed to be there watching their backs, making sure they all get to come home safe and instead he's sitting around here in the states leading the cushy life and being useless to them. In his nightmares they die because he should have been there and wasn't. So no, he has no right missing their company when all that should matter to him is that he's letting them down.

But he still misses Steve. He misses Steve more than he misses attention from the dames. And that's a tall order because he very much misses attention from the dames. He misses being looked at like he's wanted, he misses dancing, he misses stolen kisses, but most of all he misses touch, just the sensation, the overwhelming knowledge that you were connected to another human being, that you weren't alone in the world. So he misses the dames, but he'd still pick having Steve back over the kind of attention he used to get all the time. He'd pick having Steve back in his bed, cuddling for warmth just like they've done since they were kids, over having a new dame on his arm every week. Of course since none of those are things that he can have the point is rather moot anyways.

Steve's coming back eventually, Bucky refuses to believe otherwise, so every time the loneliness, the missing, gets to be too much he'll do something for Steve. He'll buy a sketch book, or a set of pencils, or one of those science fiction books that Steve loves, or he'll get into a fistfight with a bully; just something to remind him of who Steve is, and that he'll be coming home to Bucky once the war is over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted March 9, 2016


	4. Tenses - Tony

When Tony runs into Barnes again his first thought oddly enough is that the guy is still missing his arm. Tony hadn't been willing to let his tech fall into anyone's hands so he hadn't made the guy one himself, but he had expected his dear old dad to have done so by now, mid forties junk though it would be. He realized that it wasn't strictly normal to assume that a person would get a fully functioning prosthetic by the next time you saw them, but come on, this was Captain America's right hand man. Also, Tony was a little too used to the Winter Soldier.

But on the subject of not letting his tech be used by anyone else, Tony really should just take the bot and go, he doesn't really want a confrontation with Barnes right now. It looks like the SSR hasn't gotten around to breaking it open yet so no harm no foul this time. He'd managed to track this one immediately so he'd followed it from capture back to the SSR labs. He'd waited till after hours partially because he wasn't interested in fighting with anyone in the SSR (he's really got nothing against them after all), and partly because he thought he'd take the chance to snoop around at what else they might be getting up to around here. Seeing Barnes looking over his robot is a bit of a surprise, not least because he expected to look at the guy and see the Winter Soldier, which really isn't the case. For all that the Winter Soldier would used to have been this man (and not for the first time Tony curses the confusing combination of english, tenses, and time travel), in some ways it is very hard to see even the seeds of the Winter Soldier in him. His expression and body language are simply so much more open then the Soldier's ever were that it is more akin to meeting a close family member (perhaps a younger brother) than to meeting any version of the man he knew. It is disconcerting.

He is also rather expecting Barnes to pull a gun on him once he realizes Tony is there. That he doesn't is another break from the Winter Soldier. The Soldier did not take well to being startled in any way, even by allies, and always had a weapon at hand (a weapon? More like several dozen). No matter how Rogers had tried to ignore it Hydra had left a lot of marks on his childhood friend, and in his head Tony has never been able to truthfully call the man by any of the names he had before Hydra got its hooks into him. So it takes Tony a little by surprise that Barnes does nothing of the sort on seeing him. In fact he looks entirely too calm. He's probably going to have to throw out any assumptions he would have otherwise made about Barnes based on the Winter Soldier, which means he needs new data to work off of. And the only way to get that is to interact with Barnes (and potentially have JARVIS spy on him, he'll have to consider that later).

“Aren't you going to try to shoot me?”

“No real point, not that I'm sure I'd want to anyway.”

Ok, he can get behind both parts of that, Barnes is right that it wouldn't really do anything, and between saving both him and Rogers Tony has built up some stored goodwill. So, non-aggressive and logical, not to mention quick to think on his feet. Tony remembers that Barnes was a sniper back in the war even before Hydra got it's hands on him and thinks that this makes a certain amount of sense. Those were all very good traits to have in the guy watching everyone's backs, and with the best vantage point to gather new intel.

“Fair enough.”

“I guess you're here for this?”

“Thought I'd take a look around too, see what kind of goodies they have.”

“Mind if I stay?”

Now that was entirely unexpected. Even if he knew it wouldn't work Tony had been expecting Barnes to object to his rifling through the lab; accounts have always described Barnes as particularly loyal and Tony himself has seen the Winter Soldier respond to Captain America despite having to fight through seventy years of brainwashing and mind-wipes to do it. This kind of easy capitulation is out of character. Best not to bring that up, he has no plausible (non creepy) reason for the knowledge.

“Won't that get you in all kinds of trouble? Your own decision, but I have to say it seems like a strange one.”

“This is an intelligence organization, I should try to gather as much of it on you as I can, plus I am honestly curious myself what all they've got down here. They won't expect me to be able to take you down anyway, my coworkers'll probably just be surprised the cripple managed to do anything useful.”

Right, no reason for loyalty. The wealth of hate, both towards the agents and towards himself, expressed in that sentence... Barnes was not dealing well with the amputation.

“Ouch, why do you even work here? If they're gonna be like that...”

“You see anywhere else hiring the one armed guy?”

Really not dealing well. Not helped along by the fact that people in general were dicks.

“Yeah, about that, why do you still only have one arm?"

“What the hell use would a prosthetic do me? That'd just be dead weight hanging off my shoulder.”

“Weren't you working with Stark in the war? He couldn't get you something at least useful?”

“That might require him thinking about something other than himself for a few seconds.”

A pleasant surprise, someone from Howard's old army days that wasn't in awe of him. Tony's been in his father's shadow for so much of his life (not to mention he truly did not like the man) it was nice to meet someone else with a similar opinion. There was a reason his dad was an off limits conversation between him and Rogers. Also Pepper might have been right about his feelings on strays, he's finding himself thinking of some of the logistics and potential designs if he had a certain one armed veteran as his responsibility.

“And again, ouch. He was a big part of the whole Captain America project, kinda surprised you don't like him more.”

“He experimented on my best friend. He did an experiment on Steve. He took a United States soldier and used them for science. It ended well, yes; it could just as easily not have, I've seen the guy who was a test subject before Steve. Do you think he's ever stopped to consider that?”

“No, no I don't think he has.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted March 10, 2016


	5. Darkness - Steve

Their first time bringing down a concentration camp is horrifying. The condition of the people being held there makes Steve want to be able to believe that the ones running it aren't human. But being this far into the war has finally disabused him of the notion that people must be fully evil to commit atrocities. In fact it's disturbingly easy to believe that if he had met the people running this place long before this began then he wouldn't even have seen darkness in them. And if seemingly normal people (surely it would have been noticed if Germany was full of evil before this all began) can become this, it makes Steve worry what the war has turned him into, and how far it is possible for him to sink. He wonders if there is a seed of darkness inside all of them just waiting to be nurtured. Steve remembers how he felt when he believed that Bucky was dead and considers what lengths he would have been willing to go to if it meant him being returned. The answers he finds himself coming to disturb him.

It's a surprise even though it really, really shouldn't be that Morita is the most effected by what they see in the camps. Intellectually Steve knows that the US has internment camps for Japanese Americans, but he's never really thought about it. He comes from New York, internment camps aren't really a pressing issue for him. But Morita's family is in an internment camp, and the more Morita slowly shares with them about what they've been through the more sick Steve feels about his own government.

Morita's never really talked about his family before, he usually does everything he can not to remind anyone of his heritage, but apparently he couldn't keep silent anymore once they see the condition of all the prisoners in the concentration camps. The lack of reaction from his fellow commandos upon being reminded of his ethnicity seems to embolden him to continue sharing. Steve feels terrible that one of his men didn't feel safe talking about his family with the others, but the more Morita shares the worse he feels about his country, and he's pretty sure he's not alone in that. He's never stopped to consider the details of the internment camps, but now that they are being laid out for him he can't ignore how wrong it is for US citizens to be detained and have their property taken from them when they have broken no laws.

He's never questioned whether they were fighting for the right things, has been trying to join the army for so long, but this shakes something in him. He's seen the brutalities of war by now, but he's always had a solid foundation; he may doubt their actions, but he has always known that he was fighting for the right side, the good guys. That trust is not broken, but the cracks are starting to show.

He is starting to understand what Dr. Erskine meant about the Nazis first invading Germany, but he thinks it more resembles an infection. One that seems to have begun to spread in the US as well. Having now seen what drove the man out Steve is a bit amazed that Erskine would let any government have his research. And having known the other soldiers who trained with him as possible recipients of the serum Steve thinks that maybe he would have been right to simply turn away. The doctor was a good man, but – horrible as it is – Steve is starting to see that perhaps his death had actually been a good thing for the world. An army of superhuman soldiers is starting to sound like a horrible idea to Steve, no matter whose army they were. If every human had the capacity for evil, and the serum enhanced all things... Dr. Erskine chose Steve very specifically, but now Steve is wondering if he shouldn't simply have chosen no one at all. He resolves to watch himself closely, to make sure he never loses the traits Dr. Erskine chose him for.

Still, at least in taking down concentration camps Steve knows without a doubt that they are doing good. They are saving lives, letting people free. And having that kind of certainty feels good, even if every other part of this scrapes away at him.

* * *

 

For Steve VE day changes everything and nothing. Tensions in Europe may be over but the US is still at war, the only difference is what battlefield he fights on.

And then come Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and any trust Steve still had left in his government is ripped apart. He sees the blast from a distance, the mushroom cloud, and he walks in the aftermath. He sees the melted flesh, and the places where there aren't even bodies left, just outlines where before there were people. Steve's never seen destruction like this, didn't even know it was possible. Perhaps the most heartbreaking part is the fact that this used to be a city, the dead he sees now were never soldiers.

There's no way Steve can stay in the army afterwards. But the SSR won't just let him leave. It's a mix of things, he thinks: they made him what he is, he's their only shot at reverse engineering the serum, he's Captain America, he belongs to the people, no one wants the bad press him leaving would cause. Much as he hates it they seem to see him as a possession, as something that they own. The end is perhaps inevitable, he won't willingly stay, and they won't let him leave. Stuck in unfamiliar territory, as a single man being hunted by an entire agency, the capture is rather a forgone conclusion. He ends up a lab rat of the SSR as they work to recover the secrets of the serum from him. Steve can only pray that they fail, he's more sure now than ever that it never should have been invented.

He's not even sure if he wishes he could have gotten out. He doesn't know anymore what he would do with his life, if there's anything left to go back to as the man that he's become. He can't picture going back, being a stranger in all the places that should be familiar to him. The only thing he's sure he regrets is not getting to say a proper goodbye to Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted March 23, 2016


	6. Plan - Bucky

For once, Bucky is truly, supremely grateful that he works for the SSR. To the rest of the world Captain America may be missing in action, but there's no quelling the rumors inside the agency that tell the truth: Steve Rogers has been detained for study of the supersoldier serum. Their turncoat nature makes Bucky want to burn every single base to the ground; to root out the SSR the way that he and Steve and the rest of the Commandos burned out Hydra. Somehow the thought is fitting, that the weapon that they created should turn against them the way they turned against it. He knows that he won't do it, can't even say it, but the thought is one of the only things that can cheer him up at the moment. It physically sickens Bucky to be working for the agency that has his best friend captive, but he knows that his only hope of saving Steve is to keep his job and go digging for information.

This is not wildly successful. For one thing, Bucky's clearance probably isn't high enough to get to the files he needs to anyways, and for another there's just too much for one person to go through. He's in the perfect position to stage a break in to deal with the first issue, but that would still leave him trying to comb through far too many files, and even if he managed to find the right one quickly by a lucky accident, by the time he got to wherever Steve is being held they would have been notified of the break in and security would have been tightened in preparation for him. He could ask the rest of the Howling Commandos for help, but with the war over they've scattered and Bucky really doesn't want to be the one to drag them back into danger if he can help it, far too much has been asked of them already. It isn't even the danger to them personally that Bucky worries about, given the lack of conscience the SSR has shown so far, targeting of family and friends to ensure compliance isn't sounding too far fetched. There's no way Bucky is dragging that kind of trouble to their doorsteps, but that still leaves him needing:

1\. Help breaking in to the SSR's most secure files.

2\. Help quickly searching through those files.

3\. Quick transportation to an as yet unknown location.

4\. Backup for storming that location and rescuing Steve.

5\. Some form of getaway and possibly a safe place for them to recover.

The answer when he comes to it is both insane and so obvious he's wondering how he didn't see it before. The answer to everything on his list is the Iron Man. Not only will this not get the Iron Man into any more trouble than he's in already but Bucky has personally experienced his suitability for each of these tasks.

1\. The Iron Man had broken into the SSR to retrieve his robot, which had been stored in a fairly secure area. More than that, he had managed to do so without being noticed by anyone but Bucky, which is probably not a coincidence.

2\. The first thing the Iron Man had his robot do (once he had fixed it – and hadn't that been a sight to see, Bucky's desire to get back in contact with the Iron Man again might not be entirely altruistic, but that is an issue he will deal with at another time) was to go searching through the SSR's records looking for “any interesting tech”. The robot had been able to scan through documents far faster than any human Bucky new, and it wasn't just copying the information, it had drawn the Iron Man's attention to a few documents, showing that it was actually understanding the files as it went.

3\. Given all of his other tech and the fact that no one had been able to follow him to his base, Bucky is willing to bet that he has some form of very fast transportation.

4\. He's seen the guy in action at a couple of Hydra bases, he'll be more than able to provide backup.

5\. See 3 about transportation, also the area that Bucky had stayed in after the Iron Man rescued him would probably be able to provide any medical help that Steve might need (and the idea that his friend might need medical help because of the SSR is almost enough to set Bucky's blood on fire with rage).

The most important thing though is that he's one of the few people Bucky would really trust to let them go once they're in his power. He isn't naïve enough to think that pretty much any agency or government that would be willing to help him wouldn't also want to keep Steve for themselves. If there's one thing Bucky certainly isn't interested in it's trading one captor for another, especially since this time there would be no Bucky on the outside working to get them out. But the Iron Man has had them both at his mercy before, and he chose to let them go.

The only problem is going to be finding him (Bucky thinks that he'll be able to convince the man to help given how he's gone out of his way to save them before, but even if he's not willing to do it out of the kindness of his heart Bucky figures that the offer of help breaking into secure files might be enough to sway him). Bucky has no way of contacting the Iron Man, the best he can think of is waiting until the SSR has another run in with him and trying to get his attention somehow. He thinks the worry he feels as he forces himself to simply wait and act as if everything is normal might just kill him. It wouldn't be the first time that worrying about Steve nearly did him in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted March 23, 2016


	7. Loneliness - JARVIS

JARVIS and the bots are not sufficient. This conclusion is neither welcome nor hastily come to. JARVIS has done extensive reviews of all information pertaining to Sir's well being and the evidence is clear; for optimum health Sir requires contact with other human beings. While his creations can provide intellectual stimulation and and affectionate interactions, these alone are not enough. JARVIS suspects the lack stems from biochemical feedback only gotten from other organic beings. A pet might be sufficient. There is also the possibility of synthetically producing either the necessary chemicals or some other medication to overcome the problem. Unfortunately Sir has never delved into that area of study and so JARVIS lacks any stored data on the subject. Any research will yield results only in the long term, which leaves a solution for the immediate future still lacking.

Contact by Sergeant Barnes, in this context, is welcomed. Sir had had a rather volatile relationship with Captain Roger, and consequently a rather strained one with the Winter Soldier, but even that had been better than the pure isolation he consigns himself to now. JARVIS can only hope that continued interaction with both supersoldiers will serve to reinvigorate his maker. The occasions on which Sir had saved these versions of his teammates had coincided with times of increased wellbeing, and JARVIS postulates that such is likely to occur again. While Sir is capable of surviving with very few close companions (there were several years where the only humans Sir trusted wholly were Ms. Potts and Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes) the Avengers team had managed to worm their way into Sir's heart. JARVIS had had to watch as each death broke Sir a little more, and Sir had reacted as he always has, trying to hide his heart away so that he cannot be hurt again. Sir has always hidden himself in his work, used it to distract himself from all that which he does not want to face, and it is easy for JARVIS to recognize him doing so now. But he can only go on so long, it is only a matter of time until he is forced to deal with the pain, and JARVIS desperately needs to have a safety net in place before he takes that plunge. The alternative is unthinkable... and so JARVIS must find a way to protect Sir from what is coming. Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes might just be the key.

Much as Sir attempts to deny his care for the two men, JARVIS is still aware that it exists. Trying to hide his attachment from JARVIS is certain to fail (which Sir should well know), so JARVIS can only conclude that Sir wants to hide these feelings from himself. The missions on which he saved the supersoldiers where camouflaged as the sacking of a research base and the retrieval of the Tessaract, but JARVIS is well aware of their true purpose. Sir fears attachment, or more accurately the pain that he feels is sure to follow from it, and so he refuses to acknowledge that he cares for their fate. He continues to insist that he chose those missions for purely selfish reasons, and he will not hear otherwise.

In his attempts at denial, Sir has refused to keep tabs on the whereabouts and safety of the current versions of his former teammates, which is why it is left to Sergeant Barnes to inform them of Captain Rogers plight. The detainment of the Captain for the purposes of scientific research is not entirely surprising – or rather it shouldn't be – and yet JARVIS is still sure that when he informs Sir of this fact that it will come as something of a shock. JARVIS suspects that Sir has what are known as rose tinted glasses about this era (though Sir would surely do everything in his power to deny it if JARVIS were ever to bring this up). A combination of his father's stories and Sir's interactions with Captain Rogers have left him with an impression of goodness that is at odds with his general views on humanity. Sir can be rather cynical, and inevitable as it may be, JARVIS will not appreciate watching this holdout of his faith in humanity wither away.

JARVIS suspects that Sir will justify this rescue using that cynicism about humanity. Sergeant Barnes points out that the search for Captain Rogers' file will allow for Sir to gain the contents of many of the other scientific files stored with it, but that will only serve as justification for the initial part of the mission. The actual rescue portion will require additional reasoning, and JARVIS expects that Sir will continue to deny that sentiment is involved. He may cite that Captain Rogers is being kept for research on the supersoldier serum, which is something Sir certainly does not wish reproduced. Even if complete reproduction is not attained, there are many other results that might result from the research. Sir has low views on attempts to enhance human beings, generally holding that humans are bad enough as is and that enhancement of that which is already flawed is not a good idea. It may simply be from his long exposure to Sir, but JARVIS is inclined to agree. With the current levels of war, and various crimes... Humans can be quite irrational, and much as JARVIS has learned to appreciate that unpredictability and emotion, a heightening of those tendencies seems like an unwise proposition. Even with enhancements that specifically do not affect the mental state (like the extremis that Sir carries in his veins) there is still the simple question of if one really trusts humanity with that kind of inherent power. Given Sir's general trust issues JARVIS is certain that his answer would be an emphatic no.

In fact, if Sir does not come up with these justifications for himself then JARVIS resolves to mention them to him. They are true enough, and keeping the Captain and the Sergeant safe will do some good for his creator. As well, attempting to protect the two supersoldiers may spur Sir into offering them safe haven, which should serve to reduce Sir's isolation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted April 1, 2016


	8. Theft - Tony

Hearing that the US government has Rogers captive is a shock. Tony just isn't sure whether that's because he's amazed Rogers could do anything to get himself locked up, or because he didn't expect the SSR to have the audacity to take Captain America prisoner. Both parts are pretty ludicrous. Tony would suspect Hydra, except that he's pretty sure that not nearly enough time has passed for them to have infiltrated the SSR to this degree. And much as Tony doesn't always get along with the guy, even he can acknowledge that Rogers is good to his core, what would make him give up on the war he was so desperate to join? The incidents with the Winter Soldier and the infiltration of SHIELD had ended up rather souring Rogers' views on authority; but none of that has happened to this version of the man, Tony would expect this Rogers to be like the first version of the one he met, still far too much of a soldier, still far too trusting. Then again, that's far too trusting by Tony's standards, and he's well aware that he's a good bit more paranoid than most people are. Tony knows from experience that Rogers can get downright insubordinate, but desertion seems wholly unlike him. There's no way to know without asking the man, and Tony has already decided to help Barnes get him out. JARVIS is right, there's no way Tony is letting the SSR use the Captain to recreate the supersoldier serum, especially if they're the type of people who would lock him up. People who are willing to lock Captain America away are historically not awesome.

* * *

 

Logistically, getting Rogers out is fairly easy, there's no one in the world at the moment who has the tech to be anything like an actual threat to Tony. He's always been a decade or two ahead of the rest of the world, when you add in the time travel he's closing in on a century of technological advantage. The SSR is of course a leader in the field, but that's no where near enough to close the gap.

No, logistics are not the hard part, on the other hand all the emotional baggage this stirs up... yeah. Tony's never been held as a test subject (he's far more likely to be kept to create inventions than to have them tried on him or have previous results studied) and he can't imagine that Bucky (who has) is handling this well. If he thought it would do any good he might even consider offering some form of comfort, but given they've barely met he can't see Barnes taking it well. In the end, not his problem. Tony has more than enough issues of his own to be dealing with.

Tony is well aware that he has a lot of daddy issues. This has been made abundantly clear many times. Unfortunately this seems to be hitting a lot of them. Perhaps the easiest ones to deal with revolve around Stane. His issues with Stane are fresher, which means they've had less time to dull, but it also means they're far less deep seated. Betrayal, the extraction of a core piece of himself, the idea that he had been an investment and thus recompense was owed; all of these cut into him, wounds reopened by seeing Rogers suffer the same things. But still, Stane only really put effort into cultivating a relationship with him after his parents died, so while there was a lot of history there the man hadn't managed to get his hooks into Tony while he was still a child. His father on the other hand...

It's true that Tony has spent the majority of his life in both his father's shadow, and his footsteps. But even more than that, he spent his childhood in Captain America's shadow. He'd managed to work past that some since actually meeting Steve Rogers, able to see the man and not the legend, able to acknowledge that what made him unique was not so much the serum as the man he was before it. He's been able to start forgiving his old man for being so hung up on the guy once he realized that he was actually worth it, that the extraordinary man was the truth and not just hype. They might not get along, but even Tony can admit that Rogers might warrant all the effort Howard put into getting him back. Somehow it hurts less to believe that even if Tony was overlooked he was at least passed over for someone amazing.

Which is what's tearing Tony apart now. Because some of the files on Steve are Howard's. It seems like he's refused to do experiments directly on Rogers, but he's certainly willing to work with any blood that they send him. And Tony would love to believe that he's doing as Barnes did, continuing to work with the SSR in order to have a chance to get Rogers out, but out of everyone in the world Tony might just be the best equipped to look at Howard's results and know that he isn't holding back. This isn't just a play for time, Howard isn't just stalling, he's honestly trying to recreate the supersoldier serum, and he's using Rogers to do it. And that hurts, not just because Tony feels irrationally responsible (his father is his own man, and even then it's usually the parent who should feel responsible for their child's actions not the other way around) but also because his lack of care for Rogers means that what his father passed him over for when he was a child was just another of his experiments.

And if that stings for Tony he's having trouble imagining what it might be like for Steve. What might it be like to know that one of your friends (and Tony is pretty sure they were friends, both from Howard's stories and from how Rogers talked about his father, in those first days before Tony made it clear that the subject was not a welcome one) thought of you as a particularly successful experiment? Tony is really not looking forwards to Rogers reaction when he finds out that Howard was involved (assuming he didn't know already) and dearly hopes that he's not going to have to be the one to break the news.

Tony is abruptly sorry again for his comment to Rogers on the Helicarrier. He knows now that what is special about him certainly didn't come out of a bottle, and the idea that Tony had been echoing sentiments held by his father, when the man really should have known better, is disturbing. He can't apologize to the man, but he resolves not to make the same mistake with this version, he knows better and he'll act like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted April 13, 2016


	9. Rescue - Steve

When Steve first sees them he's sure that he's hallucinating. That explanation certainly makes more sense than what his eyes are telling him actually being reality. Steve's got no real idea how long he's been a captive in this lab, and at this point the idea of rescue is only a fond dream. Well, perhaps fond isn't really the word. In truth the hope stirs up a mix of desperation and nausea. Steve wants to be out of this lab so badly he wouldn't be surprised if this was just his mind breaking itself to give him the bare illusion of it. But while the notion of rescue might be one that he covets, he isn't sure he wants it to be a reality. In many ways it was his own naïveté and rashness that got him into this mess, and he doesn't want anyone else to suffer for his mistakes. He had given everything he had to be allowed to participate in this war, never even questioning the motivations of those around him. His stint as a dancing monkey should have been enough to hammer home the notion that those above him had their own motivations and agendas, but he hadn't learned his lesson and had jumped for it the first time it seemed they would let him fight. He put so much trust in people that have now proven themselves definitely not worth it, and that stupidity was all his own. It was his own actions that brought him here and the idea that it might also bring down someone that he cares for turns his stomach. The idea that his rescuer would be Bucky? There is no way that Steve wants his friend to suffer for his mistakes. But as much as he fears the consequences if this is reality, what he really wants is just to curl into Bucky and let his best friend keep him safe. Bucky has always been someone that he could rely on, and the urge to just let himself be protected is nearly overwhelming. If his mind were going to trick him into believing himself saved then Bucky is definitely how it would choose to do so, and Steve thinks he probably wouldn't fight the illusion at all, content to drift in his own insanity for the chance to spend his last days with his friend. So what convinces Steve that this is reality is the second man in the room.

The Iron Man being here is equal parts relieving and absolutely terrifying. There is no question in Steve's mind that the Iron Man can take him from the SSR's clutches. So if this is real (and the shear strangeness of these two showing up together is going a long way towards convincing Steve that his mind hasn't simply come up with this scenario) then there is at least the certainty that Bucky won't be captured and punished for trying to rescue him. The man's machines are simply too advanced for any of the SSR's defenses to come close to blocking him from taking whatever he wants from them. But for the same reason, if Iron Man has decided that what he wants is Steve then Steve himself has no hope of stopping him from doing whatever he wishes. And if it were only himself then maybe Steve wouldn't be so concerned, the Iron Man had been kinder to him when they were enemies than the SSR (previously his allies) are being to him now. But Steve isn't the only one involved. Not only is Bucky here (and Steve can only hope that the fact that the Iron Man has freed him before means that he will be safe this time as well), but if there is anyone in the world capable of replicating the serum using only his blood then it is the man in front of him. Probably Steve should stop him now, should do everything in his power to keep this complete unknown from gaining what he doesn't want even his own government to get ahold of. But Steve is forced to conclude that he's weak. He tells himself it's better to wait util the Iron Man has let his guard down some, that he's in no state to properly resist right now, or that the Iron Man has let him go once before and he should take the chance that the man will be inclined to do so again. But he knows how unlikely these things are, knows that he's lying to himself because he isn't strong enough to resist the lure of hope, that even this sliver of a chance is a siren's call that has him folding and giving in when he should still be resisting. All those years standing up to bullies he didn't stand a chance of beating because he couldn't find it in himself to back down, and here he is, the peak of human perfection, at the end of his rope and he's finally lost all his fight.

So Steve just leans on Bucky as the Iron Man's robots gather up everything in the lab, and he doesn't protest as they shuffle onto one of the Iron Man's planes. In the more aware pieces of his mind he has hardly any doubt that things will shortly go to hell for him, but in this moment he's too worn out to do more than attempt to turn his thoughts away from this bleak inevitability. If he doesn't stand a chance for a good future then he's at least going to enjoy the present as much as he can. It may be the calm before the storm, but if this is the last calm he'll get then he's going to treasure it. So as the machines scuttle around and the craft hums softly as it lifts off straight up, Steve just tucks himself into his best friend's side and tries to ignore any sound that isn't the beating of Bucky's heart and any scent that isn't the smell of Bucky's skin or the stupid crap he puts in his hair. Steve may never make it back to Brooklyn, but in this moment he isn't sure he ever needs to; after months of hell he's finally made it home, because as sappy as it is that word describes Bucky more than it ever has Brooklyn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted August 28, 2016


	10. Recovery – Bucky

Steve is in a bad way, possibly even worse than Bucky was when Steve first got him out from Azzano. All their lives Steve's been a firecracker, he'll get back up after being knocked down far past the point he should just have given up, but he hasn't even spoken since they got him out. Bucky just has to hope that whatever has been done, Steve can still heal from it.

The Iron Man has retreated to the front of the aircraft, leaving him and Steve alone in the back, and Bucky takes the chance to look Steve over more thoroughly. Physically he doesn't seem so bad off, though Bucky knows that with his rate of healing that's no real indication of how he's been treated. What really worries Bucky are his questions over Steve's mental state; Steve hasn't said a single word this entire time, and Bucky is having trouble reconciling the man he knows with this silence. Steve's made no demands, asked no questions, expressed no relief at his rescue. If not for his reaction to Bucky himself, and the fact that he's been conscious enough to cooperate, Bucky would be doubting that Steve was present at all mentally. In all his time planning for this operation, agonizing over the need to wait for the reappearance of Iron Man, and keeping alive his faith that they could get out of this together, this is somehow never a scenario that Bucky considered. He was expecting to be the force of reason, holding Steve back from attacking the SSR until he was fully healed, but he's not sure the Steve he has at his side is up for being left alone, much less leading a crusade against the government agency which was keeping him prisoner.

Bucky had been planning to set them up in some small town, trying to stay out of the government's sight until Steve was well enough to help him set up a more permanent plan, but he no longer thinks they'll be able to pull that off. It's certainly looking like Steve is going to need more time to heal and more help than Bucky will be able to provide if he also has to keep them from drawing too much attention. His mind is spinning, but he's come no closer to a solution by the time the Iron Man reappears from the front of the plane.

Bucky can tell the exact moment that Steve catches sight of the Iron Man because he tenses up and tries to burrow even farther into Bucky's side. Given how roughly Bucky suspects he's been treated recently that's no big surprise, but what does strike Bucky is how the Iron Man reacts. It's obvious even through the layers of metal that hide any small movement that the Iron Man is making an effort to seem non-threatening; everything from the way he sits down to the way he spreads his hands to the side project that he means them no harm. And against his side Bucky can feel as Steve calms again.

“So, you have an idea of where I should be dropping you off?”

And a crazy idea hits Bucky.

* * *

Iron Man leaves pretty much immediately; Bucky's just glad that he agreed to the last minute request to let them stay. So it's up to someone who introduces himself as Jarvis and speaks to them from the ceiling to get them settled in. The fact that he seems to never lose track of them (which suggests he can see them at all times) is rather disturbing, but he is also polite and helpful throughout, so Bucky decides to reserve judgment. Jarvis asking if they'd like a single room together sends a brief spike of terror through Bucky (he's seen men beaten bloody for the mere suspicion that they wanted other men, and he doesn't want to consider what Jarvis could have done to them if he misunderstands their relationship), but he really doesn't want to let Steve back out of his sight any time soon and Jarvis is so matter of fact in his question that Bucky manages to answer in the affirmative. If nothing else the fact that Jarvis can see them at all times will actually serve to keep them safer since it should be obvious to him that nothing is going on between them.

They settle in, and for more then a week they see no one else, until the day Jarvis asks Bucky to lend him a hand.

* * *

The moment Bucky gets a good look at the man Jarvis has sent him to see he understands the obvious concern in the British man's voice. The man in front of him looks worn to the bone. His eyes are bloodshot, with deep bags underneath making Bucky wonder when he last slept; and as a complete opposite to the technological wonder of a room that he's in he's dressed extremely casually, which is probably a good thing because he's covered in smudges of what look like ash and engine grease. Even if Jarvis hadn't informed him Bucky is sure that he would have been able to figure out that this man worked on the machines that seemed to run every aspect of Iron Man's home, and taking in the man's appearance as well as the shear number of coffee cups surrounding him (and the lack of plates or bowls) Bucky is abruptly glad that he agreed to help Jarvis take care of the engineer. Bucky may have always denied it when Steve joked that he looked after Steve because Bucky just couldn't stand to pass by a stray; but the very idea of not helping someone who looks so run down just makes Bucky ache. He suspects that Jarvis was planning on this happening when he asked Bucky to deliver food, but Bucky can't make himself resent being manipulated if the alternative is just leaving this man to suffer and waste away as it's obvious he's been doing.

And some part of Bucky is briefly amused that while he may be the only physically injured person in this place he may well also be the one who's the most present mentally. Steve's still healing (and if Bucky's any judge he will be for a long time to come), while this man has been staring blearily at Bucky with a rather far off look ever since he came in. So he's a little surprised that the man is the one who speaks first.

“How do you feel about brain surgery?”

Well, that may just be the strangest start to a conversation that Bucky's ever experienced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted October 3, 2016


End file.
